Last week in Kibera...

Last week we spoke on the Power of Covenant and this week as we learned about the Protection of Covenant we touched on the powerful role that the husband/father plays in the family.

Denise opened the meeting by reading from Psalm 19 as her acknowledgement of the majesty of God; then she prayed for His presence to continue among us...

Rose read the first scripture from Matthew 19:5,6 in which the Lord declares that "what therefore God has joined together, let not man separate"

Denise, Josephin, Rose, Linet and Rachel

Covenant is key to keeping the marriage strong; key to keeping the covenant strong is 'spiritual covering' which, like a roof, provides a refuge and a shelter.

Susan is listening attentively!

 Spiritual covering is 'spiritual intimacy' together with Christ.

Rachel (with Elijah), Emily and Susan

Key statement: "Most of the attacks that Christian couples will face are in their own hearts. Therefore, keeping personal intimacy with Christ a priority is essential if their covenant with each other is to be protected."

Emily, who lost her first child, is now quite pregnant!

One of the key activities that must remain central to a marriage relationships is for the couple to 'pray together'.

Linet and Rachel

The husband is the head of the wife and the home.  Our next scripture was from Matthew 12:22-29; which makes the point that the 'strong man' of the house must be overpowered in order for the thief to break in...

 The 'strong man' of the home is the father or husband.

At the top of the photo is Sarah and her friend Consolata

In another sense this scripture is also saying that Jesus will 'bind' Satan who is the strong man of this world and then plunder his home..."Jesus did this completely in His death on the cross and His resurrection from the dead."

Rose (reading), Serah, Linet, Rachel, Emily

It is very important for us to understand that Satan cannot plunder the home/family unless the husband/father is bound.

When the husband/father is bound the wife is left to make decisions for the family that she should not have to make.  She must then take on responsibilities that are not hers to take.

Here Susan is glancing over at Nancy's handout...

Nancy has discovered that Susan's handout is special - the font is bigger and the fill-in-the blank words are there.  Her vision is seriously impaired so her handout is "special"

Susan and Nancy

I caught them chuckling over the fact and gave them a thumbs up!  Can you see the smirk on Nancy's face?

What causes a husband to 'uncover' his family? What kinds of things bind him or restrict him so that he fails to fulfill his responsibilities as head of the home?

I love the way Josephine studies Denise's face so that her translation into Swahili is as accurate as possible...she is a jewel!

Some of the things that bind a husband/father are as follows:

Allowing sin issues to exist such as drinking, gambling, immorality, drug addiction, verbal or physical abuse...

Josephine, Sarah, Elida, Consolata (a guest) and Rose

Misusing financial provisions.  Weak and inconsistent walk with God...

Failure to deal with personal insecurities and weaknesses; Anger, procrastination, laziness, fear, intimidation, and rejection...

Over commitment of time and energy to work or ministry. 

Rose, Eliphine, Serah and Linet

Preoccupation with extended family and personal social commitments. (in the US this is often hobbies and/or sports activities)

Then Rose read from Job 1:5, 9, 10

In the book of Job we see that Satan cannot attack Job or his family because a hedge or wall of protection has been set around them...

We find out that the probable reason for this is that Job, on a regular basis, prayed on behalf of his wife and children.

When we look at the life of Moses, we see a very different sort of husband/father...

The father of Moses seemed somehow absent from the story as we read it in Exodus

Elijah wants to read along?

Denise read from Exodus 2:1-4 which describes the father of Moses as "a man from the house of Levi" which means he was a priest (which today we would call a pastor!)

Where was the father? 

Apparently this father did nothing as the story reveals that the mother of Moses took action and the sister of Moses watched for an opportunity to intervene...

The mother of Moses was forced to take responsibility that was not hers to take...

Moses was a baby marked by destiny...

Too many men fail to understand that they are stewards of destiny!

In truth a man is called to serve his family.  We see a remarkable illustration of that in the story of Job.

The strength of everything is determined by the foundation on which it is built.  The foundation upon which marriage is built is covenant. 

Eliphine is wife to the pastor of this church where we meet

The covenant relationship in marriage will be protected as the husband and wife seek Christ first in their personal lives and allow Him to be central in their relationship with one another...

During our time of Q and A Nancy asked a provocative question: Is it okay for the wife to point out to her husband weak areas in his life/behavior?

Denise put the question to the ladies and an interesting discussion ensued...

Elida shared that her husband was 'teachable' and whenever she pointed out something in his behavior that was disturbing to her he tried to change...

...in that way they had a strong and satisfying marriage until his death in 2007.

Rose then took a risk to share something that happened just the day before between her and her husband...

She had been trying to help him by suggesting an action on his part and his response was harsh and critical...this was very confusing to her as she was simply trying to help and he seemed very unappreciative.

Denise then spent time answering the question "How do we talk to our husbands about behavior that is not right?"

We must begin by searching our own hearts to be sure that we carry no resentment before we approach the husband.

We must first ask ourselves "What if I am wrong?"...

What if I have misunderstood the situation?  Misunderstood my husband?

If the husband is clearly sinning then we must address that...call the sin what it is, but then ask him (as the head of the family) what he plans to do about it.

If there is not a sin being committed then we must approach the husband with an attitude that we want to understand what he is thinking and feeling...

I couldn't resist this photo of Elijah...

The ladies continued to ponder the implications of all that was being taught and discussed...

Eliphine, who is of the same tribe as Rose's husband, began explaining that the men from her tribe have a very hard time admitting when they are wrong...

Rose listened intently as Eliphine described their apparent inability to say "I am sorry"!

It became a light moment, though it was also filled with a sobering thought...

 ...in reality we all find it difficult to admit when we are wrong and risk being vulnerable by apologizing...

Josephine is now pointing out that all men hate to be wrong...

Here she is apparently deep in thought about all that is being revealed...

A moment of levity as we joke about how we can sometimes be so wrong while believing we are so right!

Early in Susan's marriage her husband refused to help with the children's school fees, telling her he didn't have money and that she should go to her God Who would give it to her...

After feeling bad and complaining bitterly she began to see that in reality he had 'handed her over' to God...she then began thanking God for the small things her husband did right and as a result was filled with a sense of peace that exists to this day...

...she still struggles to meet the financial needs of her family, but she no longer burdens others with complaints.  In fact I can say that Susan brings a truly sweet spirit to the meeting each week...

Just before prayer time Serah shared that last week she had already packed her bags to leave her husband, but as a result of the teaching and prayers from last week's meeting she felt such a tremendous sense of peace and forgiveness coming into her life that she realized it is okay for her to stay with her husband.  She is even helping a friend that God has brought into her life who is struggling with her marriage.

God truly is doing something in Kibera!